Passed away

I've been alive once
and overwhelmed
by my own peace
but that was
forever ago

all dead things
caught up with me
and it does not matter
how far
I can go
I could never get there
or anywhere

now all rush
lies with the endless agony
of remaining
chained to something else

I am one of the dead
wandering through the waste
of my own life
I cannot fade
although I am slowly
disappearing

and it is not scary
that the bullets and blood
should drive us away
when they were here first
when we were actually never here

I knew my heart
inside out
and I felt its beat
it's everlasting desire
for existance
to feel whatever there was
to be felt
I might have been
alive

but that was
forever ago